A New Vision...

Picture this: President Obama, Diddy, Jay-Z, Kanye, Drake and Sasha Fierce not having the certain swag and confidence we know them to have! Would they be where they are now? Probably not. I'm sure someone told them they couldn't achieve their goals, but they still believed they could.

To sum it up, no truly successful person has ever had low self esteem. Period. If they did have low self esteem, they still believed in their TALENT which pushed them to success.

I could finish there but I want you to understand how my thought process has developed over time living life as Ivan S. Harris the photographer/artist commonly referred to as The I.$.H.

I already know you have to have thick skin in order to be a photographer/artist because some people will like your work and some won't. That's easy, I can deal with that.

What most people may not know is, as of two weeks ago, I had this "the nice guy-worried about what everyone thinks about me personally-doubt myself-low self esteem-don't want to step on any one's toes-try to please everyone" mentality. Although with that mindset I was able to successfully build trust with many people, I consistently felt unfulfilled sort of like there was something missing.

In order to find out what was missing, last week I took some time off to do some personal and professional research. Actually I was still technically working because when you are self employed, you are ALWAYS working.

It turns out there were many events going on that usually with no question I would be covering but because of my research, I took the time to actually enjoy them this week rather than "photograph/work" them.

I know some people will read this and think I am full of myself or self-centered but the fact remains if I don't believe in myself no one will. After last week, I've finally decided I don't care anymore because the nice guy Ivan was skipped over and taken advantage of, but the new and improved ISH got everything he wanted, literally.

Exclusively to SSD, this low self esteem mentality that I carried was one of the main reasons for me deciding to cut my hair last year. Now that I have my new vision, I'm glad I did, not for anyone else but for myself.

I am tired of feeling unsatisfied in order to make others happy. This last week, I proved that people instantly flock to the confident, aggressive, go-getter time and time again. Starting this new week, I see the difference between the two clearly.

My coming to the realization that I shouldn't care what anyone thinks anymore is what my new vision is about. My scope has changed indefinitely and now I that I am in it to win it, after all this time, I finally believe I CAN.

Before last Friday, I was unsure of my worth, biting my tongue, not speaking my mind and just all around holding back, so I would see myself being passed over repeatedly.

Whether it was intimately, personally, professionally and even with friends, but once I took control, it was like the change happened over night. I REFUSE to ever go back to being THAT GUY from two weeks ago!

Mind you, I have worked hard in this city and because of that I have built many great relationships which allows me to have perks that most people may not have, so this week I decided to take advantage of being the Daygo Shore's I.$.H.*uation.

I won't discuss the whole weeks itinerary, but the main event of my week-off, research project was the grand opening of Fluxx Night Club in San Diego. This event was epic so of course San Diego's cream of the crop was sure to be in attendance.

Ironically, the first thing that came out of most peoples mouth was "where's your camera?" and not, "Hey, I'm happy to see you, how are you doing?"

After a while it started to make me think, what do people really think of me? Do they genuinely care about me or do they just want their picture taken? Ahhh, oh well its the nature of the beast of my business and it's not personal because I didn't move to California to make friends, but to make millions through my talent and with my new mentality, I don't care either.

Anyway, to explain why I didn't have my camera, first off, Fluxx has an in-house photographer John Audley a.k.a. Be Water Photo, who I respect.

I wasn't gonna step on his toes, at least not on this particular night and occasion because it was his time to shine.

Ive worked too hard and established myself so now I've finally come to a point in my career where I'm not just showing up to shoot unless I am officially booked via verbally or contractually. To go in depth, that way I am not chasing people around for a check for weeks because of the confusion.

The other reason I didn't have my camera is because I was personally invited by one of Fluxx Nightclubs owners Mikey G, who I have the up most respect for, so anytime an owner invites you to something you should be honored and accept the invitation,which I gladly did. Thanks Mike, your place is awesome!

Thanks to Lauren Clifford, one of my Public Relations clients from JPR who I work with frequently, I walked right in with no waiting in line alongside my two guests Elizabeth and Sharon on my arm.

The event was an excellent way to debut a new club in San Diego and its sure to bring some added fun to the Gaslamp District.

That night I learned a valuable lesson which is if you doubt yourself, if you don't believe in yourself or if you don't carry yourself with the most respect no one else will either.

I work very hard at what I do, and throughout my four years in San Diego, I have built a network and strong relationship with people including business owners, PR companies and other establishments, so being treated like a celebrity for my talent amongst my peers is definitely an honor and a lifestyle I don't want to be denied of ever again.

The gist of this story comes from last weekend where I promised myself I would never be that guy wandering alone in 7-11 again reading a magazine at 2 in the morning because I doubted myself and "missed the bus" so to speak.

I know you are asking what am I talking about, and without going into further details, basically there was a scenario where I doubted myself, second guessed the situation and missed the opportunity, which left me out in the cold. Now, I refuse to ever be "cold" again.

I was thinking about my self doubt, I had to call friends BACK HOME and ask them what was wrong with me. Everyone said the same thing, "You're dumb, believe in yourself and go do what you have to do!" So now, I say go get whatever it is you want! No matter what it is. If you believe you can achieve.

My intentions in writing this story, enjoying my week off and taking advantage of the perks was NOT to brag but to pay homage to my clients, personal contacts and business associates as well as the revelation of me coming to realize MY own worth and value as the photographer known throughout San Diego County as Ivan S. Harris, the ISH.

Now that The BEST WEEK ever is over and its back to work, I'm gonna need you to...NO, as a matter of fact my new mindset has kicked in so I'm TELLING YOU to make sure you have your A-Game on deck, because I'm Damn sure coming strong with mine.

*Sidenote Thanks to Chris Jones for coming to get me from that store and snapping me out of that low self esteem funk or else I would still be bored reading about gardening! You are one of my true friends I can call on since moving to California!

thanks to my photographer colleagues...

*Bobby Reyes of www.eventvibe.com

*www.Shootnorton.com

*Devin and Bradley of www.discoversd.com

*John Audley of Be Water Photo