An Artist's Struggle: Talkin 2 Myself...

In order to be great you have to first decide you actually want to do so. The funny thing is no matter at what point in life you are, once you make this life altering, detrimental decision, the life as you know it tends to, if not cease, drastically change around you.

During this journey you will embark on, I have found there are some key points you must be aware of in order for your travels to be successful.

One is the fact that everyone can't be and doesn't want the responsibility of becoming "somebody".

Two, some people just don't want to see you grow because it means they will have to grow along with you.

Of course the bonus is other people don't want to see you make something of yourself regardless of anything else.

When you finally decide to take this long road to success, it's almost like you will be punished for wanting to better yourself because sometimes you end up losing your friends, your sense of self and the feeling of being alone starts to become a little too overwhelming.

The question is, does this certain feeling of solidarity suddenly wrap around you because you chose to not accept mediocrity and follow your dreams?

To me, it seems the answer is yes, whether or not its by choice, you seem to become ostracized one way or another.

One would think people would be happy that you want to be successful and not be a bum or leach. Instead you tend to get a lot of hate, doubt and negative feedback for saying you want to do something good/creative.

Once you discover you have a talent, it automatically separates you from the norm. The fact that you have a gift/talent means you can do something most people can't do (or do well). So the ostracizing feeling definitely becomes worse for artists because an artist is already considered to not be normal.

After feeling ostracized for so long, you might end up wanting to quit and return to your comfort zone where all the normal people are. At least you will be amongst your peers, right?

The irony is that it could be that you don't relate to certain people around you anymore because you are on to bigger and better things and they are stuck in the same routine from high school or a previous stage of your life where you no longer wish to return to. Or maybe we just tell ourselves that to sleep better at night?

To be honest, at times I feel like I am walking alone and cannot relate to anyone on any kind of level. And I have to ask myself am I the one that's crazy?

It seems that Eminem has the same troubles as the chorus on "Talking 2 Myself", from his latest album Recovery shows.

Chorus:
"Is anybody out there?
It feels like I’m talkin to myself
No one seems to know my struggle
And everything I come from
Can anybody hear me?
I guess I keep talkin to myself
It feels like I’m going insane
Am I the one whose crazy?

So why in the world do I feel so alone
Nobody but me, I’m on my own
Is there anyone out there
Who feels the way I feel
That there is then let me in and

let me know I’m not the only one."

Eminem - Talkin 2 Myself Feat Kobe

After a long voyage of ups and downs all while realizing I have traveled too far to turn back, I have learned that no one will share my dream, I have to walk my own path and there are only a hand full of people that will truly understand what it means to be me so I cherish those true to me and write the rest off.

In the end, you can do things that make others happy and be miserable or you can do something about your misery and make yourself happy. The choice is yours.

I honestly would rather follow a potential dream, taking a risk at solidarity and talking to myself all while creating the best art I can, than be apart of a pseudo world in which I have no purpose and am living for someone else's existence. Of course, I could always be wrong.